| Wayne's World - Baring it all essential to security |
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| Local Content - Opinions |
| Written by publisher |
| Tuesday, 12 January 2010 19:24 |
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By: Wayne Litke Individuals with a fetish for naked bodies should consider a career in airport security. With body scanners being placed at major airports in Canada, it’s time to throw away pornographic magazines and movies and get a respectable job at an airport as a body-scan analyst. These individuals (when fully trained) will see more boobs, bums and genitalia in a single week than Hugh Hefner sees in a year.I have difficulty stating his last name, but thanks to Umar Farouk Abdulmutallab, airline passengers will soon have to bare it all or undergo a physical search before flying. The 23-year-old Nigerian tried to (allegedly) ignite a bomb on a Northwest Airlines flight from Amsterdam to Detroit on Christmas. He had al-Qaeda connections, was reported as a U.S. security risk (by his father) and was put on a general watch list. Despite purchasing his ticket in cash, having no checked baggage, no contact information, and being on a watch list, he was allowed to board an aircraft. Thanks to his brazen act and the incompetence of U.S. intelligence and security personnel, the general public will soon be subject to full-body scans that will reveal everything. The option is a full-body search which may be preferable for individuals who need physical contact to feel loved. If you are not a terrorist with explosives in your underwear (or a transvestite with fake body parts), what is the problem with a security scan that penetrates clothing and goes up to four millimetres under the skin? The answer is terrorists are as resourceful as sex addicts who are furiously filling out airport employment applications at this very moment. Instead of strapping on an explosive that resembles a body organ, future terrorists will emulate drug smugglers. They will simply swallow condoms with the substance of their choice (explosives) or stuff explosive material in personal compartments that cannot be mentioned. The detonator could be something as simple as heart burn or hemorrhoid cream. A $250,000 full-body scanner will not detect such danger. That type of homeland security requires a medical procedure using a device commonly known as a scope to probe a person’s stomach and a 50-cent rubber glove to complete the job. Furthermore, there is a lot of debate about using body-scanning technology on people under the age of 18 (children). What’s the issue I ask? Image analysts who begin breathing deeply, sweating and need bathroom breaks when they view a scan of a child will be provided a penal visit at a facility of the judge’s choosing. The problem is jihad extremists will begin enlisting children to serve as their mules (couriers of contraband substances such as explosives). Low radio frequency body scanners will not detect internal explosives, that task requires X-rays which are too harmful to use in security situations. The Canadian government is purchasing 44 body scanners for use at airports. The units can process 300 to 600 people per hour, and the person being scanned will not be revealed unless there is a security risk. Furthermore, all images will be destroyed after screening has been successfully completed (that’s official). Body scanners have been used at several airports around the world including Manchester, England where a scan takes seven seconds versus frisking which can take up to five minutes. A system which was tested at Kelowna Airport met the approval of at least two people who traveled to Maple Creek. However, it was reported that it did not meet expectations in regards to speed or effectiveness. Ironically, the security department at Amsterdam’s Schiphol airport has had a full body scanner since 2007, but it was not being used to screen passengers destined for U.S.A.
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