Nerd Talk – Some toys should not be given to children

Halloween is just around the corner. That means it is the time of year when it is practically required to scare yourself.
I was thinking about things that scare me or give me the heeby-jeebies.
There are things that frighten me: snakes, spiders, heights – or more specifically bridges, I hate crossing bridges.
I remember there were toys as a child that absolutely freaked me out. Toys I think no one should have access to and should be locked away forever.
I think some of these rather terrifying toys have caused serious, long-lasting damage to my psyche.
It is highly likely that at least one of these so-called children’s toys have given me trust issues, paranoia or anxiety.
I’m fairly certain at least one of these children’s toys have given me a massive fear of clowns.
For example, lets look at Jack-in-the-box. A seemingly harmless toy that has been around for ages is actually completely terrifying.
Let’s think about what this toy actually is.
We tell children there is a “surprise” inside and the only way to find out what it is, is to turn the crank. The child turns the crank and a fun tune plays until suddenly POP out comes Jack.
There was a tiny person in the box and he just jumps out at you making any young person’s heart stop as they scream out in terror.
The parents laugh, but that child is terrified.
Let’s not forget that in modern times, at least as far as I can remember, Jack inside has been a clown. Yes that’s right a clown pops out of a box to frighten children.
It’s really no wonder more people aren’t afraid of clowns thanks to toys like this.
Jack-in-the-box has been around since the 16th century, and it wasn’t any less creepy then either.
In Victorian times the boxes came with inscriptions, to entice young children who don’t know any better. One such inscription is “What wonder, Miss / May be in this? / Make me free / and you will see.”
I don’t know how many horror movies you have seen, but I’ve seen a fair few. And this sounds like someone is trying to summon a demon.
Leave it to people from Victorian England to teach their kids about summoning demons on an already scary toy.
My grandmother used to give me a porcelain doll every year for Christmas. One year she gave me a beautiful doll from her own collection while giving my cousin a porcelain doll that just happened to be a clown.
I swear this stupid doll had eyes that would move. It always felt like we were being watched when in the same room as it.
At one point it creeped us out to a point where wrapped it up in a towel and shoved it into the closet. I remember coming into that room later that day and it was back out, happily sitting on my cousin’s dresser.
I’m sure it was one of my older cousin’s playing a mean prank but it frightened me. I was convinced this doll was possessed and completely evil.
Moving on to the elephant in the room, the worst, most creepy children’s toy out there in my opinion, has got to be Furby.
The devil himself was put into these awful toys. If you don’t remember them, you are very lucky.
I am very grateful that I never actually owned one of these spawn of evil. But my cousins did. They regret ever asking for one, let me tell you.
These truly frightful toys actually learned, which is scary enough as it is. They learned how to speak and they moved! Not well mind you, but the point is they wiggled around on a flat surfaced and actually moved from one place to another.
I remember staying over at my cousins’ house and hearing the ridiculous thing cry out at night as if it was being killed, jarring everyone in the house out of their sleep. Only to find it sitting happily on the coffee table demanding to be fed. Did I mention you had to “feed” it too?
At one point it was thrown into some closet in the basement to let the batteries die and everyone forgot about it.
Years later I was visiting and guess what we heard? Coming from somewhere in the house that godforsaken thing was calling out that it was hungry.
I’ve heard from others that they have had the same experience with the worst toy ever. The stupid thing was still alive years after the batteries should have dies.
A friends of mine said her’s still worked even after she ripped out the batteries.
I’m telling you, some toys should never exist, let alone be given to children.

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